Yesterday I met with Hugh's geometry teacher to discuss Hugh's performance (or lack thereof) in his class. Young, laid-back, sporting a cool little beard, Geometry Guy is a nice man and, I imagine, a good teacher. He carefully explained to me that he had no doubt that Hugh was capable of doing the work. I pointed out that Hugh's grades made that clear: 0, 0, 100, 0, 0, 0, 0, 100, 100, 0, 0, 100 . . . . (you get the idea). I articulated my frustration: What do you do with a child who can do the work but simply doesn't?
Geometry Guy leans forward and says, "Have you thought about an incentive program?"
I don't think I'm a violent person, but if I had had a handgun in my purse (as is my legal right here in Louisiana), I would have shot him dead.
"Have you thought about an incentive program?" Excuse me. We're middle-class over-educated parents with a "problem child." You want to talk about incentive programs? Oh, the charts and stickers. The tickets. The points. The marbles in the jars. The coupon books. We have an entire bookshelf filled with titles like Transforming the Difficult Child. "Have you thought about an incentive program?" Why, golly gosh, no, what a novel idea! Thank you so much, Mr. Geometry Guy.
We received Hugh's grade report this week. Two Fs, a D, and a bunch of Cs (plus an A in P.E.; it's important not to forget the A in P.E.). We grounded him. He immediately went and Googled the subject of child discipline, and a few hours later presented us with a well-reasoned argument, backed with research, on why grounding is an ineffective method of behavior management.
A handgun would be a terrible idea.
I love that he googled child discipline and presented an argument to you. That's when you know you don't have to be worried because after the completely-unrelated-to-the-real-world-that-is-called-school is over, he'll be fine!
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