Astigmatized

Annual eye check-up today. Sick and tired of hunting for reading glasses (which, let me hasten to point out, I need only when I have my contacts in--when my contacts aren't in, I can read just fine--'course my contaccts are always in because without them I can't see more than a foot in front of me but hey, nothing actually wrong with my reading vision, dammit, I'm not that old, I'm just near-sighted, like all us nerdy young people), I demanded those new omni-vision disposable soft contact lenses--the ones that  combine close-up, medium, and far-away vision--you can see everything all the time and then you just throw the damn things away and pop in a new pair.

So my friends tell me.

I wouldn't know. My eye doctor won't let me have them. Apparently my astigmatism is too pronounced. I'm doomed to reading glasses--to the fruitless rummaging through my handbag only to remember that of course I took that pair out at breakfast, to having to ask Keith read restaurant menus aloud to me, to having to stop lectures and ask students what time it is because I can't see the numbers on my watch or  my cell phone, to apologizing at meetings because I can't read the agenda, to gormlessly squinting at receipts trying to decipher where I'm supposed to sign. . . . to being a friggin' totally annoying utterly stereotypical old lady. Sigh.