A Southern thang

There are many things I hate about living in the South. But there's one thing of such absolute beauty, such transcendent purity, such keen pleasure, that it almost makes up for the heat, the humidity, the gargantuan roaches, the killer mosquitoes, the stinging caterpillars, the biting ants, the race-based politics, the gobsmacking parochialism, the grass that grows sideways, the omnipresent sexism, and Katrina. . . . ok, not Katrina. . . .

Where was I?

Oh yes, the Good Thing about Living in the South:

Quite simply, this glorious concoction called pimento cheese spread.

Non-Southerners will not know about pimento cheese spread. I first met it at a children's birthday party when Owen was about 4. Which means I had lived in the South for over six years--six wasted years, six years-worth of lost pimento-cheese-spread opportunities.

I will not try to describe pimento cheese spread. Suffice it to say it's kind of a fluorescent orange color with red flecks and you spread it on bread or crackers, or you dip raw vegetables into it, or (if you're me) you dip your finger straight into the container and eat it straight. It's not good for you in the physical, healthy, weight-loss sense. But it's positively great in the boy-this-tastes-great-I-feel-so-much-better-maybe-I-won't-kill-my-kids-yet sense.

It's a Southern thang, y'all. And frankly my dears, you should give it a try.