Crime and Punishment

The big story in Baton Rouge this week is the arrest of a high school girl, who stole the identities of almost 200 of her fellow students, filed fraudulent tax returns, and received rebate checks worth tens of thousands of dollars. Much angst about the breach of confidentiality, school policies, the security of important documents, etc. and of course rightfully so. And of course the girl's actions were wrong, completely and totally. But still-- I have to admit I'm impressed by this kid. She's  still a teenager and she's figured out the public school computer system and the U.S. tax system?! Golly, get her on the right road and she can go anywhere.

It all reminds me of Hugh in the second grade. The school then had a strict policy: whenever a student didn't complete the assigned homework, that student's parent received a phone call. The school secretary and I were soon on a first-name basis, as she was calling me every morning. I was so confused. Every night I'd sit down with Hugh, look over his daily homework assignment sheet, and then spend a tortured hour forcing him to do the pointless but required worksheets. But then the next morning, yet another phone call about everything he was missing. Finally, when Hugh received the dubious distinction of being the kid with the most missed homework in the entire school, the principal, teacher, Keith, Hugh, and I had a meeting. Utterly frustrated, I pulled out Hugh's last homework sheet and went down the list--did it, did it, did it. His teacher grabbed the piece of paper, examined it carefully, and then turned to Hugh with a look somewhere between horror and admiration. Turns out the kid was running a scam. Every day the teacher required the kids to write out their homework list and every day she checked Hugh's. So he swiped a bunch of blank homework sheets and every day after the homework sheet check,  he'd fill out a different sheet, with far fewer assignments, and that was what he brought home to me. As the adults in that conference room gradually figured out what was going on, Keith muttered, "Good lord, the kid's discovered double entry bookkeeping."

Driving home that morning, we took comfort in the fact that if Hugh was headed toward a life on the wrong side of the law, at least it would be white-collar crime. "Minimum-security prison," said Keith, in a tone of relief.